first taste of loneliness

You know how it's like, when you go on a holiday with friends, away from family for a few days?

You don't feel homesick.You don't really miss anyone. I mean, you don't miss anyone until it makes you cry, until it makes you feel so vulnerable, that every other thing, regardless of relevance makes you shed tears, and you don't even know why you're crying.

I've only been away for a few days. I've been away longer,and that didn't make me so upset.I've never felt this way before,as far as I remember.

But I guess I feel this way because at the back of my mind, from the bottom of my heart, I've acknowledged the fact that I'm not on a vacation -- I'm here for good. I'm on the other side of the Earth , and everyone else is back home, and there's nothing I can do but grow up.

I am lucky to be living with my siblings, at least part of family is here with me,just that they spend most of their time working + studying, leaving me at home for the day.

And me, the baby who's not used to such sheer silence, feels a pang of loneliness.

I wanna grow up. I have to grow up.

Wish me luck, I need to make friends and I need to like this place or I'll be trudging in misery for a very long time.

Thanks for the Pocky, it makes me happy and it reminds me of you guys and the fun and laughter we had. (: