Ready?

As I type out another torrent of complaints, I spoon myself cookies and creme from the tub --the ideal comfort food for the depressed,and yes, JOANNA,I'll please you to say, the self-pitying fool. (:

I probably didn't tell you guys that the theatre called me up last week, scheduled an interview for which I attended the day before yesterday, called me yesterday to tell me I am hired,and conducted a short briefing with me and another girl today.

So things were pretty much happy for me until I went there and I met the girl who just got hired too. Wow, oh, she made my confidence shrink...shrink...and shrink so much that I couldn't find any of it left. And in that 45 minutes that I spent sitting next to her, I became more and more self conscious about my plain "homely"-ness. And on the way back, and in the washroom, in the lift, anywhere that there was the possibility of seeing my reflection, I couldn't help but look away.

And I can't pinpoint the reason behind this. She's fat. Honestly,she's fat. But somehow whites have a way of being fat and still look stunning. Or maybe it's my lack of COSMETICS. *yes,this topic again.* Or issit her confidence,and my lack of it? I don't know. :( All I know is I look like a kid, and it's making me feel small and small and small and.... every shred of confidence in me just Whooshes away, just like *snap fingers* that.

And thank goodness I go to a school with SO MANY visa students. Yayme, I don't feel that out-of-place. Oh well, it's all a process of learning. Learning to accept myself for who I am,eh? Learning to have confidence and not a mere sight of some other people bring me down.

Heh.Easier said than done.