acknowledgement.

I never knew that a simple acknowledgement could change so many things. Just by recognising something is there, understanding that it is a fact,I could lift the pressure. It's like saying "okay, you're there. I know that,now move."

Jenny gleefully told me today:" McMaster only accepts 20 people! and you think YOU can do it?" xD *insert smirk*.

She's wrong. McMaster accepts 160people. Not that that changes anything,because she is right.I could never do it. 20? 60? It doesn't matter. It's a small number and I would never stand a chance.

So why am I applying,then?

Applying, and expecting failure.

Not applying, and expecting failure.

It's the same thing,eh?

Not quite.

Applying gives me the answer. It ends all possibilities. I could never 'what-if',because I know I'm not accepted.

So why can't I just apply and not expect failure or acceptance?

Applying with acknowledgement that the fact is I would fail,recognising my flaws and incompetence,liberates me of the pressure.

I could take writer's craft. Average? It's not that crucial anymore.

I could smile and laugh it off when I get the letter of rejection.

I could smile apologetically when my academic referee says "I'll have to tell them you have a tendency to always be late".

I don't have to be all stressed up about the 3 questions that I have to answer.

I don't feel the panic when people say "you know you need a 94% average,right?"


It's the same thing with maths. Just by acknowledging that I can't do it.Knowing that I can't.Accepting it allowed me to feel that I could drop maths.

I never knew that acknowledging my shortcomings

could feel this good. (: