I think it's time to stop persuading ourselves (myself,really) that this is not the end.
People keep thinking or try to think that we'll all see each other again. But how true is that?
I hate to burst the bubble, the hopeful thoughts, but we'd all be going to different places.
That means different time zones,different holidays,different schedules.
We'd be on different paths, paths that only meet at certain times, and we might not be there when they meet. And when we do meet, we'd be apart for so long we'd be close to strangers.
The only way we can really keep in touch,really know what each other is doing is through blogging. MSN? We probably won't be able to "bump" into each other.
For example,unless you're going to the US or Canada itself, I probably won't see you so often, or worse still,ever again.
After XV's lunch, there are so many people I'll never see again.After the Molekul World gathering, I'll never see Chelle and gang again.After this thursday's Team Langkawi outing (please,everyone show up :) ) I won't really see you guys, unless we organize another outing.
It's all starting to sink in. I admit it didn't really affect me during graduation day and last day of SPM, but that's because I haven't really felt the warmth I used to feel. I thought it was cold and dry and everything and there was nothing to lose.
But after everything, I'll really miss you all.
I'd miss Li May.
It's true we weren't close at all but recently we grew to open up to each other,and after Langkawi, because of certain reasons, we hung out with each other even more,and I'd really miss her. If I could,I'd bring the Lee Hom board she gave me for my Birthday.
I'd miss Mel.
Everything sorta changed after she went to Singapore.
I'd miss Bryan.
He's so smart it makes you feel dumb. But then again, he's nice and caring too. And although he says he's impatient he isn't really that bad. He's ego is sometimes a pain but I've taken it as a package. It's Bryan + ego or nothing at all.
I'd miss Xiao Von.
She's the friend. Although we don't really talk about anything serious, just a few lines sometimes,I know she's there. She's the one who'd help me with dress up tips, she's the one who'd listen to me talk about nothing at all.She's the one who'd tell me to shut up. =)
I'd miss Yu Ling and Yan Ping.
My two friends who cry alot. Very sensitive to surroundings and how other people feel. I'd feel like I'm at the bottom of a pit and they'd suddenly appear next to me asking me how I feel,and that makes me feel so loved. :)
I'd miss Guo Yaw.
My girlfriend.Talk about all the girl stuff. Like what should I wear, pants or skirt? Long pants or shorts? :D He's the girl. xD
I'd miss Kwan Seng.
He's the one who'd not hold a grudge for long.The one who can't really relate to my problems but listens anyway. He's the computer guy,the arcade guy, he cares for everyone's safety,very responsible although sometimes it's hard to talk to him when he's in the mood.
I'd miss Siew Thong.
We had so much fun in form 3. Those were the rebellious days.She's changed alot,and so have I.I'd miss the times we had at Sg.Wang, taking sticker pictures, having sushi, shopping and everything. I wish we'd go out again, one or two last times before we part,really,forever. We're distant enough now, with her being in the Art Stream,with Cheng Fei taking my role. I still remember walking her out to the bridge everyday last time,because she hates walking alone.
I'd miss Ser Minh and gang.
They mean so much to me.We've been pals for so long, it's just so easy to neglect each other.
I'd miss Chelle.
Really, she's the one who'd understand when I say something really depressing.Like all the "I feel so ugly today",I might say it really as if it was a joke but I know she knows that I really mean it. She knows it happens. I know how she feels sometimes,because I feel it too.Although she may say that nobody knows,I know how it feels to put on a mask and walk around,just so people stop asking questions,or judging me.
There's so much mixed feelings. I don't know if I'm looking forward to Canada or not.
Canada, so many new things to try out. I'd learn to be sporty, I'd learn to be more responsible, I'd learn to live with my own problems, I'd learn to make friends,I'd learn to cope at a new place.
Malaysia, the comfort zone, the friends I just started being close to, I used to think there was nothing to lose, all was lost when the year 2006 started. Well,I guess things can change.
Jo Yee said school starts on the 8th of January for most of you. That's sad. I never took into consideration when you all are leaving. I thought I had at least a month more, now I know it's only 2 weeks. That's a short while.
Time,is never enough. Let's make the best of it, and please,let's get together before it's too late.
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