Q & A

throughout this 6 months that i've been away , i've been doing some thinking. Perhaps you wonder about the same questions I have about myself. So i've decided to list out exactly WHAT are my problems so I can FIND a solution, rather than mop about... directionless.

.PROBLEMS.

(P1) why is it that i miss home.
~. other people whom,like me are overseas seem to be getting along fine, or even happier than before.

(P2) why am i constantly complaining about school.friends.courses.
~. how come i haven't met a bunch of "me"-people. how come I'm not learning anything new.

(P3) why do i have never ending emo days?
~. depressed over everything

(P4) why do i keep thinking this is the wrong path.
~. keep thinking that i should go to boarding school / stay in m'sia.

.THINGS THAT LEAD TO PROBLEMS.

(T1) i'm too free.

--> people with time in their hands but have nothing to do end up thinking,thinking, and thinking.

--> end up dwelling over matters that can't be changed.

--> think too much.

--> having nothing to occupy myself makes me just sit around and think and be depressed.

--> leads to problem (P1 : why is it that i miss home), (P3 : never ending emo days) , (P4 : wrong path).

(T2) school system is very different.
--> leads me to think that

(a) m'sia is better. -- leads to problem (P1 : why is it that i miss home)

(b) not learning anything of substance. (yet) -- leads to problem (P2 :school ,friends, courses.)

(c) wasting my time, brain is deteriorating. :( -- leads to problem (P2 :school,friends, courses.)

(d) too much spare time, homework alone is too little. (for now) -- which leads to (T1 : too much time, think too much.)


(T3) no fellow malaysians / english speaking people whom i can talk to easily.

--> can't express my thoughts/ jokes (if any) fluently, end up taking a beat around the bush method (because vocabulary is minimal.), irritates myself (and perhaps others).

-- > language begins to be a barrier , better to not talk, keep to self. ---- leads to problem (P2 :school,friends, courses)

--> not much progress in the circle of friends. -- leads to problem (P2 : school,friends,courses)

--> spend time in class studying (to occupy time) --leads to (T2 [d : too much time, h/w too little] ) which in turn leads to (T1 : too much time, think too much.)



(T4) boarding school would be...

--- > (a) good, because easier to make friends (everyone is alone.)

--- > (b) bad, because if i'm singled out (let's say situation is the same -- all non-english speaking), no one to turn too. (now,family members present.)

.SOLUTIONS.

(S1) get a hobby.
--> something *preferably* other than reading/ watching drama/ eating / cooking /baking / computer / piano / katamari / mahjong /scrabble / monopoly.
--> learn a sport. (practice with sister tennis-on-the-wall) / go gym.
--> pick up japanese / violin /pottery / knitting /cross stitch..
--> learn skating. (during winter)


(S2) volunteer at hospital.
--> letter already sent, hope they take me. (:<

(S3) check facebook.
--> i hate it, but this is the only way people communicate here.(as far as i know)
--> don't isolate yourself. (this is the hardest part)
--> try to be better friends with non-mandarin speaking people.
--> think of more interesting subjects to talk about. (currently, zero.)

(S4) join clubs in school.
--> last semester i couldn't join any clubs yet, but this fall, it's the beginning of the year.
--> easier to make friends.
--> keep self occupied.

well then, i feel like my head is sorted out now. (: well, hopefully this is a new beginning.