And i thought...
Maybe it's just me who's not getting on with my life.
Maybe it's just me who's kept the doors to "other people other than CHS-ians" shut.
Maybe it's just me who keeps comparing CHS to GVSS. (Which is like comparing CHS to Abdul Samad)[no offence]. Moreover, GVSS has a bad reputation of taking in whoever -- whoever who can't get into anywhere else, whoever who got kicked out by anywhere else.
[Don't ask me "THEN WHY DID U GO TO THIS SCHOOL?", because, I didn't choose to get into this school, I was sent here by the stupid address that said "everyone but no.26 (where i live) goes to Earl Haig SS". Not knowing better, I just went.]
Maybe it's all about expectations and comparisons.
Maybe it's just me who notices all the small things.
Maybe it's just me who notices all the small things.
"The lecture theatre is HALF the size of CHS's".
"The cafeteria is so run down".
"the stage is the suckiest I've ever seen. Even Sungai Way's OLD hall can beat that".
"The state of their library. UGH. ".
"The inefficiency of clubs. Or lack of clubs."
"The lack of student involvement in ANYTHING. Teachers rule here. =_="
"The school may be big, but it's so empty. It has the facilities, but it's not put to use."
........and the list goes on.
Maybe it's just me being bitter about going to a "not-so-good" school.
Maybe it's just me not accepting that I am here and there's nothing I can do about it.
Maybe it's just me who can't wait go get into University where it would actually "be better than CHS".
The only reason why I'm upset is because I expected so much more. And I'm seeing others achieve so much more.And I look at where I am, all because of my dumb address and ignorance of the state of this school, and I can't help but feel dissapointed.
Disappointed that I can't do more, get more, all because I live at no.26.
Maybe it sounds like I'm blaming the school and not myself. But for me, I think the environment shapes a person.
Maybe it's time to .let go of the past, and enrich my present,make the best out of everything, take the initiative to call people out,make myself happier.
Not as great at CHS? So what? Another half year and I'm out of here. I just have to do MY best.
Maybe I should stop fretting about things that don't really affect me anyway.x)
I know I've been saying this forever, I guess I just never reaaally went about to practicing it.
(:
*------------------------------------------------------------*
Gonna go watch Twilight with Isabela later! Edward Cullen! <3
1 comment:
Hi LiYing!
heeee had been such a long time since we've seen each other huh? =)
Anyway. Jia you! I understand what you are going through, really. and it always seems so hard to, let go off the past, especially if the past has been such a beautiful one. we can't help but to compare.
It actually took me nearly a year to really move on. as in, really cherish the present and try hard to make the best out of every situation now. and yeah, now i'm happier, though at times still, i'm hanging onto the memories, afraid that everything will just disappear. hmmm.
well yeah, take the beautiful memories of the past as your courage to move on, yeah? treasure every moment you have now as you might regret it later if you don't. since we've chosen this path, why don't we complete what we've started? =)
you're one bright and happy girl. heee i'm sure you will find your strength somewhere, perhaps from your many many best friends back in malaysia! ^^
i understand that expectations are always the root to heartaches. but bear with it yeah, it's just another half a year! heee! =)
mannn i can talk so much. lol. just wanted to say, jia you jia you!! remember, we're all working hard towards our dreams, even if you don't have a clear direction now, soon, the answer will unfold before you. give yourself some time. =)
must be happy okie~!! ^^ wanna see the always so cheeeerful sweet lil' gurl, you! ^^
btw. you've grown up alot gurl. ^^
Take care. =)
Lotsa Love,
ZiHui =)
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